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The End is Near

What we need is less cowbell.  The skid continues as the Hogs have now lost 8 in a year and the Thanksgiving turkey may be hard to swallow at this point.  But with Thanksgiving comes the traditional game for the Golden Boot, which means we have a short week in store.  "Let's make these last 6 days be fun," right Coach?  The only way to make this week any more fun is to start off a Grubs before you get burned out on the turkey and dressing.  The Total Package and some ice cold waters.  Fire up that Fight Song!

Arkansas was defeated by #13 LSU on the Playstation 31-17.  Alex Collins was the lone bright spot for the Hogs.  Due to the short week, the mailbag is limited but we'll go with what we got.

How long are we going to give Bielema to turn this around?
This is the Million Dollar Question.  It is beyond obvious that there is a lack of talent on this football team and even Coach admitted this week there is more work to do here than he originally thought.  But what scares me is that his recruiting efforts will make us big and SLOW.  Look at his top signee this past year, Alex Collins.  GREAT running back that is on his way to setting the freshman rushing record.  But what's the thing that sticks out about him?  He can't runaway from anyone!  He lacks the breakaway speed.  Speed is the name of the game in the SEC and Bielema better recognize it quickly in the recruiting department.  Honestly, I'm still on the fence with him, but we better at least give him the same amount of time we need to give our fans to pronounce his name right on the call in radio shows!  Note:  In the modern era of the SEC, each coach to win the SEC Championship has won at least 9 games in 1 of their first 2 seasons. 

What do you want for Christmas?
Let's be honest here, this was an email from the wife.  I told you the mailbag was short.  So, Christy, if you're reading this, I want a new coffee maker.

 

This one you got me for Fathers Day worked the first 3 times but hasn't the last 8.  I've also noticed that the coffee starts out hot for the first quarter of a cup and then cools off rapidly.  There have been a few days when I got excited about it because of all the noise coming from the top, but then the same ol nothing keeps happening.  I called the customer service number and they assured me that I do have priority points with the company and help is one the way.  I'm not sure though as they wanted to charge me a ton of money just to return it and buy a new one.

 

Full of turkey and dressing the Hogs will head to Red Stick, LousyAnna for their final game of the year.  But wait folks, this one still involves a trophy and it's the last time we'll play this game after Thanksgiving!  Purple and Gold will be dominant in Tiger Stadium and the unkept Boot looks to remain in Les Miles' broom closet.  Arkansas has continued oppossum style football by playing dead at home and getting killed on the road this year and I don't see it stopping now.  Bret Bielema has never beat a team ranked higher than his on the road and will now face a 17th ranked LSU team whose defense made Johnny Football turn into Johnny Fun Size.

 

Las Vegas tabs the game as a 24 1/2 point victory for the Tigers and they don't pay the light bills by losing.  Arkansas is over their head in ever facet of the game this week and simply has nothing more than atrocious uniforms to play for.  It will be worth celebrating if Arkansas even scores.  Yes, it has gotten that bad around here folks.

 

No eggs for quarterbacks cars, no made up trophies by single guys in Arkansas trying to find dates because he speaks at every fundraiser, and no wins since I've turned another year older.  A season full of "no's" capped off today by "No more 2 games in Little Rock."  Don't act surprised folks, Arkansas only showed up for 1 in the past two years anyway.

 

A dismal season with a dismal ending, yet the end is near......

 

Hogs 3

 

Tigers 34

 

Have a most wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas, Bowl Season, Spring Football, Summer, Fall Camp, and any time you eat at Grubs!!!  Until we write again.

 

God Bless You All,

 

Superfan



Ring The Bell!

The Playstation Prediction took advantage of the off week and stuffed our face at Grubs while we took time to drown the sorrows of the season.  The kick of the Buffalo Chicken Wrap got us back in gear and it's time to see what the Playstation has in store.

Arkansas absolutely laid down to the Bulldawgs on the Playstation and turned in yet another loss, 39-17 State.  With the 7 game skid still going we head back to the mailbag.

Can we win this week?
Can we?  Yes.  Will we?  I'm not sure.  If you held a gun to my head and made me answer I would say no.  This team lacks talent, speed, and enthusiasm to simply go out and play for pride.  The hopes and dreams that came in the Louisiana Lafayette Kool Aid were flushed down the urinal when our piss failed to get hot at Rutgers.  And put this little feather in your cap;  No first year Arkansas coach has ever beat Mississippi St.  Even Danny Ford could only muster a tie....in Little Rock.

Is this the last game ever at War Memorial?
Highly doubtful.  But, like you, I wish it was.  I totally get the tradition we have there but the tailgating is bigger than the game now and not even the UCA kids are excited about tailgating for an 11:00 kickoff this week.  The last game?  No.  We'll be forced to suffer through another season there next year.

Back to The Rock for the season "home" finale and the Hogs are out to fight for pride.  Due to the losing streak the Hogs could easily lay down, but there is one glimmer of hope for the Hogs.  Anytime you play a school from Mississippi you have a chance.  The trailer pullin, tire tool carryin, Ole Mrs rejects to come The Rock with their Cowbells in hand.  And this time of year that bell becomes just a little more special because every time a bell rings a Mississippi State fans gets his teeth.

 

 

 

 

Mississippi State will play one of 3 QB's tomorrow as their top 2 are "game time decisions."  If Dak Prescott plays, the Hogs could be in for a long day trying to stop the run and Frank Fletcher will be trying to figure out what 12 cars he's going to give away in 2014.  If State resorts to the 3rd string QB, Arkansas has a chance to put on a show as the secondary won't be exposed and the D Line can show they are the only strength on this defense.  Offensively, Alex Collins must continue to tote the rock and will need a breakaway run or two to keep the offense on the field and the clock running.  Brandon Allen simply has to manage the game and throw the ball to our guys, not theirs.

 

In what could be the ugliest played football game in decades, I'm drinking the Kool Aid one last time.  Zack Hocker drills the 48 yarder as Arkansas wins on the last play of the game.

 

 

Hogs 23

 

Dawgs 20

 

Cmon Hogs!!!!!!

Superfan

 

Gosh Almighty

The Hogs come up on the short end of the stick again against Auburn, but at least Bielema gave Gus some of his own medicine with a swinging gate play.  The onside kick, we're still not so sure about.  The Hogs season seems to be all but over, but we must trudge on as fans.  Off to Grubs Uptown we go for the Total Package burger, some pizza dip and the Playstation.  Fire up that Fight Song!

The Playstation has begun to fizzle out on the season as well as nothing is getting close to real life.  On the Playstation Ole Miss is winless and the Hogs prevail 17-6.   Time for the mailbag.

Do you think Jeff Long deserved a bonus and raise?

Are you kidding me?  Of course he.....didn't.  Tell me one thing he's done that has impacted play on the field/court.  His move with Texass was a little "Nuttish" if you ask me.

Will the Hogs beat Mississippi State?

I can't even think about Mississippi State right now.  I'm to worried about how we'll beat Ole Mrs.  But to answer your question, probably not.  This team just isn't very good and to say the defense has gaping holes is like saying Bobby Petrino likes motorcycles.

So the Hogs load the bus for a road trip to the dreadful state of Mississippi for a chance to steal victory from the Rebel Black Bears.  Still licking their wounds from the losing streak, the Hogs must find a way to run the ball effectively enough to control the clock.  Wait, that didn't work last week did it?  As Bielema tries to implement his system at Arkansas, the main problem has become quite evident.  Arkansas lacks defense.  There's not a single player in the back 7 who could start for any other team in the conference.  But they have to suit up and they've got to play their best in order for Arkansas to have a chance.

Hugh Freeze has turned the Ole Mrs we've all loved to hate into somewhat of a contender in the SEC West.  But let's be real, they're still playing football for a school that redshirts Miss America's more than they do football players.  When the best thing you have going for your school is the new edition of Chevy's Tahoe, Polo's new pleated pants, Steve Maddens latest model of boat shoes, and a tailgate party more famous than Archie Manning, you've got problems.  So many problems that this little gem says it all:

Gotta love that school spirit in a bottle!!!!!  Vodka please!!!

It's an early kickoff folks.  If you're headed to Oxford I suggest just staying in Tunica or The Grove.  Going into a game at Ole Miss is just a bad idea, especially this year.  Get the cheese dip ready and most importantly GET YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT GOING!

Arkansas 17

Ole Miss 38

Go Hogs!

Superfan

Be-luh-ma and Mal-a-zan

Welcome back to reality.  I hope everyone enjoyed the off week since we didn't lose!  It's back to the grind this week as the Hogs continue to work on the process of winning.  Back to the grind means back to Grubs Uptown for the phenomenal Mushroom Swiss Burger with fries and the coldest beer in town.  Fire up that Fight Song and let's see what the Playstation has in store!

The losing streak continues, therefore we're back to the mailbag again this week.  Keep sending in your questions and I'll answer the best ones right here.  Arkansas actully won on Playstation 38-17, but it should be noted that Auburn is 1-7.  Mail time:

What was all the controversey about game tape with us and Auburn?
Good question and incase you weren't in touch with Coach B's press conference Monday, here is the story.  Auburn sent two copies of game tapes to Arkansas (as most schools do).  One copy is the TV copy and the other copy is the school copy.  Aparrantly, Auburn's school copy didn't include a "swinging gate" play that the TV copy showed.  Coach B took issue with it and turned it into the SEC.  Was Gus trying to undermine the Arkansas staff??  Highly doubtful.  However, the REAL problem came when Auburn reported Arkansas' tape that was turned in.  Gus complained to the SEC that Arkansas' tape didn't show Arkansas scoring any touchdowns.  This should get interesting about kickoff time.

Did you pull out the Petrino costume for Halloween again this year?
Stupid question, but you were one of 2 this week and I need material.  No, I didn't.  However, I did go trick or treating and every house we went to gave away Arkansas tickets.

 

 

So, Gus comes to Fayetteville for the first time and the driver of the bus and his fancy schmancy, hide and seek offense look to light up the board against Arkansas for the first time since he had Scam Newton.  While Arkansas fans had this chalked up as a win in August, reality has set in at it looks like Gus could walk out of this deal with a victory.  He took over a team that was mostly recruited by him and nearly every player fits his scheme.  With a little bit of coaching he has Auburn off and running and actually has a realistic shot to win the SEC West.  But don't count Arkansas completely out of this one, yet.  While Auburn is much improved, they're still the bad Auburn team that Arkansas beat last year and Arkansas has had Auburn's number in years past.  Auburn won't want to play a physical ball game and if Arkansas can execute any one of their 4 offensive plays they have a chance to keep this a competitive ball game. 

The "Hurry Up" verses the "Huddle Up" takes place at 5:00 tomorrow night on ESPN2.  Daylight Savings Time ends tomorrow night and between all the commercials from ESPN2 and the bad football we're likely to see, I just hope this one is over before we turn our clocks back so that we don't have to watch an extra hour. 

Come enjoy the tailgate at The Rendezvous.  It will be the most fun you've had all day!  It's hard to do in these situations, but it's time to get our mind right and DO YOUR JOB!!!!

Arkansas 24

Auburn 31

Go Hogs!
Superfan

Hog Tied

The Hogs didn't mean for Homecoming to mean "all fans leave for home," but the beat down last week led to that.  By the start of the 4th quarter, a tshirt gun could've exploded and not hit anyone.  "Rebuilding" is officially the motto as we continue to press on towards "the process" of winning.  To ease the pain, quick licking the wounds and start pouring alcohol on them.  Grubs Downtown, Uptown, and Rogers has the coldest tall boys around.  Get a pizza dip while your at it!

Due to a losing streak of more than 3, the write up for the Playstation game will not appear.  Instead we open up the mailbag again to answer your questions.  As they did with South Carolina, the Hogs kept it close with Bama.  Alabama 24 Arkansas 21.

Only one question this week as apathy is trending towards Johnelle Smith standards.

"You're the best arm chair quarterback I've seen, I bet at some point in your life you said Peyton Manning was no good.  Why do you think Austin is better than Brandon?" 
Thanks for the softball.  I don't think I've ever said Peyton was no good, but yes, I do have a history of cussing him.  He was a Tennessee Volunteer, why wouldn't I cuss him??  Why is Austin better?  Because he can't be any worse.  With this season all but over, there is no reason not to get him some experience.  Don't give me the redshirt business.  If he's going to redshirt, does that mean he is the primary backup next year and starts as a Sophomore??  Cmon Maaaaan!  Let's face it, he needs to get in the game.....and Brandon must have naked pictures of Jen.


So the Hogs are trying to find every way possible not to feel sorry for themselves and must now travel to Tuscaloser, Alabama, home of the double wide trailer, the crow bar, and Beefy Bama girls. 

Let's not forget that while the state of Alabama is the most confused redneck state in the nation, their footbawl team is awfully damn good.  So good that they've created a statue of a coach who is no less still alive, but is coaching their team!  The Beefy Bama girls turn into grown men on the football field and are an absolute dominating force in the world of college football.  But Coach Bielema told the team, "you don't get on the plane if you don't have the attitude to go win the football game tomorrow."  Here's hoping the plane doesn't take off in an illegal formation.

Brandon Allen put in a full week of practice for the first time since injuring his shoulder and the full gameplan was practiced full speed all week long.  While that will make a slight difference in timing and performance, it is still a crucial aspect for receivers to actually CATCH the football.  It may also be helpful if a few of the receivers grew hands on their butts since that's where most balls are thrown to them.  The full week of practice should help that cause, but the true question will be "How will Allen respond when he realizes the beating he took in his first career start last year wasn't just a bad dream?"  Nick Satan will be throwing the kitchen sink at the poor kid every play.  It will be the defensive version of Spurrier last week.  Arkansas' offensive line will get a "man test" this week.

There's only one thing to look forward to this week and that's hoping they show Katherine Webb on tv.  A road game to the football mecca with a team that has little to no chance, means the visiting Arkansas crowd will be little to none.  The good thing that comes from that is Webb will be easy to spot and the other Bama girls will have plenty of room to sit.

6:00pm on ESPN.  You can decorate the mantle, heat up the cheese dip, and yell at the TV, but don't forget to hide the women and the children.  It's a Bama beat down this week folks.

Hogs 3

Bama 42

Clown Coming

The losing streak moves to three as the Johnnies and Joes are beginning to outdo the X's and O's.  Arkansas was once again Gator bait, but returns to Don W Reynolds this week to face the Ol Ball Coach for Homecoming.  There's not a better place in town to meet up with the ol college buddies for some pizza dip, burgers and beer than Grubs Uptown.  Head on over for your pregame meal and let's see what the Playstation has in store.  Fire up that Fight Song!

As has been tradition in years past, when the losing streak hits 3 the full write up for the Playstation stops.  Arkansas held their own, but real life Brandon Allen showed up on the Playstation this week as South Carolina gets a Pick 6 to start the 4th quarter and the Hogs blow a 17-3 lead to lose 23-17.

The SEC Network comes to town for an 11:21 kickoff and even though it will be past noon on the east coast, it will still be way to early to hear 5,000 people yell in unison, "COCKS!" 

The Ol Ball Coach comes to town, visor and all, ready to win a game that has had bowl game implications for these two teams since joining the SEC.  The winner of this game usually goes bowling, while the loser struggles to finish the season.  Unfortunately, things are shaping up for the Hogs to be on the losing end of this one and sitting at home for Christmas, but "winning is a process" and perhaps that process could start with Homecoming.

Speculation has been abound on whether the biggest factor in the game will even play or not.  Jadeveon Clowney, Mr One Hit Wonder himself, just might not feel like playing tomorrow.  Then again, he may.  Clowney provides Spurrier this year's bit of comic relief at South Carolina, but when he's on the field he's a force to be reckoned with.  Arkansas must be prepared to run the ball off the tackle......away from Clowney's side of the field, if they're going to have any chance of winning this game.

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Arkansas must get back to the ground game with a heavy dose of Johnathan Williams and Alex Collins.  If the mentality and identity of this football team is going to be "run the ball," then throwing 41 passes won't cut it.  Line up, knock your man down, and run the damn ball!!  While the competition may have been far less, that philosophy worked for the first 3 games.  Winning WAS "a process."  If the Hogs are to have any chance tomorrow, the ground game must be effective.  If winning the ball game rests on the shoulder of Brandon Allen, well...Coach can turn on the Reggae music and start prepping for a Bama Beatdown next week. 

 

 

 

 

11:21 kickoff.  Yes, that's A.M.  Eat a big breakfast, the most important meal of the day, and get your mind right.  The Hogs will need our help tomorrow, if nothing else just to keep their spirits up.  It's a brutal schedule but, "They gotta play us."  Be proud and be loud and DO YOUR JOB!!!!!!

 

 

Arkansas 27

 

Cocks  38

 

Go Hogs!

Superfan